The Cross we bear
by Namikaze
Summary: Post Third Impact. Shinji and Asuka are faced with startling discoveries about one another, but neither is willing to accept it or change. Meanwhile a new threat has taken shape, this time targeting Humans themselves.


Disclaimer: Evangelion is the property of Gainax. Not me.  
  
"The Cross we Bear" Chapter 1 - "Life Goes On"  
  
It was just like any other day, any other hot-as-hell day in Tokyo-3. It started raining late in the evening, a rarity these days not to be taken lightly. Yet there was no celebration. Most of the residents of the sprawling city-fortress were just returning. From what was it they were returning? Was it salvation? Was it the Apocolypse? Not one could say. A little event called Third Impact was the catalyst required to bring about the forceful evolution of man. It failed because of one middle school child. One Shinji Ikari, pilot of Evangelion Unit-01.  
  
Now he sat alone, in the darkened living room of Misato Katsuragi's apartment, and also his own home. His head was lowered, staring at his hands, mind racing. He had choked her. The one reason he had for living he had tried to destroy. That was unforgivable. The memory flooded back to him again and he flinched at the harsh reality of his actions. He remembered her warmth, her smell. She was beautiful, even in the wounded condition he had discovered her. Her red hair was a stark contrast to the white sand he awoke upon, accentuating her lovely features. For reasons he was as of yet unsure of he had stradled her body and begun to choke her. Tears streamed down his face when the remorse and guilt surfaced, bile rose to his throat and he withdrew further within himself.  
  
The shadows of the room betrayed its occupants of the turmoil raging inside of the third Child's head. Lightning flashed. God hated him. It is all God's fault, Shinji thought to himself. Yet another excuse to appropriate the blame off of himself. Asuka Langley Sohryu lay unconscious on the Living room floor, where Shinji had laid her on top of a blanket. What were they supposed to do? What if no one returned? It didn't matter though because she was alive, she was all that mattered. If she was alive he could repent and beg forgiveness. He couldn't understand her reaction to his attack though. It was the issue in the forefront of his mind, and it pained him not knowing the reason. She had reached up and slowly, tenderly carressed his cheak, an act of caring and love. Or so he thought. Asuka would never really do something like that unless forced to or if she thought it would give her some advantage. The young boy of fourteen had no experience in dealing with these type of emotions.  
  
Emotions best left to adults with lifetime's worth of experience. The girl also of fourteen stirred in her sleep, rolling onto her side. The blankets draped over her slender form accentuated the curves of her body, giving her the grace and beauty of a goddess deep in slumber. Tears formed in the eyes of her observer. They formed for seemingly no reason although he knew what it was related to. Through instrumentality, when the collective souls of the Human race had joined for a short time, Shinji had seen things... private things not shared with anyone. He saw the deepest darkest secrets of those closest to him. Things he would never know had Third Impact no occured, and he felt guilt at being the trigger of that event.  
  
Foremost in his mind was Asuka, and what he actually felt through her. He felt the pull she experienced towards him. He felt, disturbingly accurately the desire and shame she felt towards him. She wanted to be near him no matter what happened and she wanted above all else to love him. Deep down, Ikari knew that she would never openly admit it nor would he. It was a mockery of emotions. Shinji felt betrayed by himself, and by God, stuck in limbo for eternity because of his non-existant courage. Exhausted beyond comprehension he cried himself to sleep, retiring to his room.  
  
And for Shinji Ikari, life goes on.  
  
Asuka Langley Sohryu awoke to see Shinji sitting above her on the couch in familiar suroundings. Her head pounded in her skull while she tried to get her bearings. The sound of sobbing stopped her though, and she shut her eyes again. She heard her name whispered, not meant for her to hear. "Asuka...". She didn't know why she was alive, having been impaled numerous times with the weapon that was used millenia ago to pierce Jesus Christ. She squinted her eyes and saw Shinji, head in hands sobbing to himself quietly. His quiet cries speaking words conveyed only Asuka could understand, reverberating off the walls of the dark, silent apartment. Her eyes dilated and adjusted to the near non-existant light of the living room, difficult it was as the light played tricks with her vision, the rain distorting moonlight filtering through the balcony sliding door.  
  
The German girl remained motionless, not knowing what else to do in a situation such as this. She sure as well wasn't about to comfort him when she didn't even know why he was upset. A lightning bolt lit up the sky, illuminating the skyscrapers in the distance, abruptly the sobbing ended and Shinji wiped his eyes with his hands. He brought himself to his full height painfully slow, he seemed to be carrying a heavy burden on his shoulders. His gaze fell upon her still form, and she held her breath, hoping he didn't notice her return to consciousness. He shuffled forward akwardly and dropped on the floor to his knees, a meager two feet away from her. The room was cold, a chill passed through the air and Asuka automatically tightened the blanket around her body, attempting to hold in as much warmth as possible.  
  
"Asuka?" The act did not go unnoticed by Shinji and once again she went rigid. His hand passed over her brow, a tender act of care, and concern, though she could not discern that. His eyes, 'Oh god.. those eyes.' She accidently made eye contact with him and against her own will, hers opened and she found herself staring into his deep blues. Both children instantly froze, the only sound in the small room the pitter patter of rain on the glass window providing illumination for the apartment. The storm outside raged on as they stared wordlessly at eachother for what seemed an eternity, neither willing to end the unspoken exchange taking place.  
  
Shinji was the first to act. After a few minutes, he arose and started walking towards his room. Before he reached it, he turned his head to the side and spoke to the prone girl behind him. "It's... It's one in the morning Asuka. Try to get back to sleep. Goodnight." Only the darkness was left in the wake of his passing, a solemn reminder of the loneliness Asuka felt. With his absence an abyss had opened in her soul. After the ordeal she had witnessed not a few hours ago, she needed contact, she needed someone to talk to. More importantly, she needed him above all else.  
  
The pilot of Eva-02 did nothing at first, opting to remain in the living room Shinji's words actually reminding her of her fatigue. A sense of longing, overwhelming in its power crept its way into her mind, a need of love. Fate was without mercy. Just like this dreary apartment, Asuka's life was forfeit. Her soul was a dark abandoned place unlikely that anyone would want to be a part of ever again. She had failed those that mattered most to her, those that relied on her. By all accounts she should be dead, thats what she kept telling herself. She didn't belong in this world.  
  
In her incoherent thoughts, a beacon of hope shone through. She knew what she had to do to clear her mind and body of its despairing burden. Asuka sat upright on top of her makeshift bed, and brought her knees to her chest as if to stand up, but she hesitated. She stared intently at Shinji's doorway as if it were the gate to heaven itself. Asuka could not bring herself to stand and deliver though. She couldn't make herself move, fear gripped her body firmly and unwavering to the floor. What she saw in Instrumentality scared her, it scared her because she thought that the emotions she felt towards the third child were unique and sacred. She believed it to be true that she could never express these feeling to anyone because they would not understand how deep seated these feelings really were.  
  
What she felt in Shinji earlier that day though was just as deep and pure as her own feelings. It scared her. She couldn't tell why but she was terrified of telling him the things she thought now, how much she wanted to... The Second Child began to sob silently, yet uncontrollably into her knees, pulling her body unto itself, retreating. Eventually the young girl's body relaxed and she slid to the ground,and cried herself to sleep.  
  
All around the city people were washing ashore, from the blood red sea of LCL left by Lilith. The inhabitants of Tokyo-3, upon discovering eachother started to band together forming small groups aiming at finding decent shelter in the devastated metropolis. Despair and anger ruled the day as people went to their homes, to find nothing but a pile of rubble. Hundreds, if not thousands of civilians were left outside, with no salvation from the unforgiving rain falling in sheets upon the beleagured men, women and children below.   
  
NERV Personnel began a move to round up as many people as possible, bringing them into the Geo-front where some civilized dwellings could be used to clothe and feed the populace. Of the NERV employees and soldiers most returned to their posts, snapping back into their training ignoring the confusion evident in everything and everyone around them. The usual command elements, Makoto, Maya, Shigeru, and Fuyutsuki had already returned and were taking charge of the situation.  
  
First and foremost was communications, as of yet Tokyo-3 had recieved no transmissions in any way shape or form from anything outside of NERV HQ. An air of calm dominated the command center, unusual for dealing with a catastrophy of this magnitude. Commander in Cheif Kouzou Fuyutsuki (In Gendo Ikari's absence) had taken over operations and was quickly but calmly orchestrating recovery, rescue and communications operations.   
  
He stood behind Central Dogma's operations technicians delegating their orders. He strolled over to Maya Ibuki, NERV's female lead computer technician in Doctor Ritsuki Akagi's absence, and instructed her to send broadcast radio wave lengths to any major city in range, foreign and domestic. "Maya we need to find out if local, National, and International governments have gotten back on their feet yet. Using the Magi, make a round of pinging to Magi of the United States, Russia, China, England, Germany, and France. Lets see if we can make first contact.". He placed a reassuring hand on the technician's shoulder, noticing her shaking in her seat. She turned her head towards him and smiled. "Yes sir."  
  
As Maya went about her duty Fuyutsuki watched in silence, mulling over today's events in his mind, including what was to happen next. The world will never return to its former self, he decided after remembering third impact. Two asteroids, in fifteen years will have an effect on the Earth that will last for hundreds of years. Tides, weather patterns, already knocked astray by Second impact, not to mention the flooding left over from the melting of the southern pole, had brought about the apocolypse. Whether or not the Human race was ready to weather such a storm, had yet to be determined.  
  
Oddly enough, Evangelion Unit-01 was found in its hangar, totally intact. Initial testing confirmed it was fully operational and ready to accept its pilot. Unit-02 suffered extreme damage, its remains scattered about the Geo-front. NERV staff doubted its repair within the next year if at all.   
  
It was unfortunate that the Electro-magnetic pulse generated by Third Impact had knocked out multiple systems including energy sensors, otherwise the Magi might have noticed the strange energy patterns reading on the outskirts of Tokyo-3. There were hundreds of individual readings gone unnoticed by Central Dogma. Their pattern was blue.  
  
The forest around Tokyo-3 was completely still, not a bird chirped, not a frog croaked. It was 4 a.m. and the rain had abated for the time being. Thunder could be heard in the distance, the storm moving along to hamper the next city in its trek across the north western Pacific. A lone figure stood up, apparantly having been lying on the ground, and it staggered clumsily towards the tree-line overlooking mankinds stronghold.  
  
The thing laughed to itself silently, attempting to find a reason for the existance of the pathetic creatures cowering from the elements. It was strikingly Human, and a tall Human at that. It was clothed in all black making it quite hard to pick it out from any other shadow. It's eyes opened, having to this point been closed. 'He' gazed longingly up at the sky, spread his arms wide and called out to the heavens, a chilling sound not unlike a warrior's battle cry.  
  
Wings spread from the humanoid's back and it rose into the air with grace, making its flight towards Tokyo-3. It's lithe form shot up into the sky, followed by innumerable more. The Angel had time to think now that he had his detachment en route to its destination. He had taken the name Riajah millenia ago. Memory over that much of a timespan failed, but his Knighting ceremony he could never forget. It was the day he had sworn to fight the Human race should the first seventeen Angels fail in their assault. Never having cared much for Humans, Riajah accepted the task with pride.   
  
End chapter One - "Life goes on"  
  
A/N: Well this chapter was sort of rushed, without any prior planning. All off the top of my head, so I'm positive there is a lot of mistakes and/or holes. I promise the next chapter will be much more interesting as I develop the characters and plot line. Hopefully I'll start making a storyboard.  
  
Next chapter: "Lost without you"  
  
The hallways were dim, but Asuka knew them well, considering she was in her second week of physical rehabilitation. Nerve damage in her right arm and left eye were nearly irreperable, but the surgeon reassured her that after a short period of excercise and assorted activities she would regain full usage of her right arm.  
  
Now and again Asuka would talk to the other patients in the hospital but most she was either disgusted by or she just flat out disliked them. The other patients would avoid her and Asuka felt lonely, though she would never tell anyone. Now, here she was wandering the hallways, waiting for her next excercise session like any other day. Things have gotten pretty dull... A voice sounded up behind her. "Hallo! Asuka, afhalen bitte!" It didn't take long for Asuka to switch back to her natural language. She turned her head around to see who it was. Her eyes went wide, "Ehren?! naze..."   
  
Before the shocked and bewildered girl could mutter a hasty greeting she was smothered in a logic-defying bear hug. While Asuka struggled to breath, there was another struggle going on about twenty meters down the hallway. Shinji stood there watching some random boy hug Asuka without any emotion evident in his face, but his hands were trembling. In them he held a black box of chocolates he had ordered from Germany using his own money. There was a small envelope on top of the box, fastened in place with expertly tied red ribbon. Just barely noticable as Shinji hastened towards the nearest trash can was the scribbled writing on it.  
  
It read, "Happy Birthday Asuka". 


End file.
